Return to the boozer above in glory, with the hardback under your oxter, and loudly point to your moniker on the pages as proof that you have helped McCabe complete another masterpiece, kind of!

There are a variety of rewards to be had once you transfer your shekels, including - but not limited to - getting your name into the book itself. You and I and the dog are only too painfully aware that the chances of you ever holding a book in your hands with your name on it are slim to none, but there is hope! The great Patrick McCabe is throwing you - you! - a rope, and not one to put a loop in and swing over the nearest beam because you're 'just too special for this world' either! Thanks to the miracle of modern alms gathering that is crowdfunding, you can get in on the ground floor with regard to his forthcoming book, Poguemahone. I know because I was/am that soldier, and I'm in no position to be throwing stones - although I get paid by the word, so always expect a barrage. I know that you've sat in the boozer, cogitating and pontificating on the great work you're in the process of extracting from your cavernous mind, although 'it's probably too real to find an audience'. Just because it happened to you does not make it interesting. The great Christopher Hitchens once said, 'Everyone has a book inside them, which is exactly where it should, I think, in most cases remain,' and, as usual, he was on the money. I know, I know, you have a file on the computer called 'novel' or 'masterpiece' or some such thing, and you might even open it now again and stare at its blank, polar-like expanse, stroke your chin in something approximating a thoughtful manner, then close it again for another month. Everyone has a good book in them, goes the hoary adage, but that, frankly, is a load of old me arse.

Poguemahone mccabe